She had a nightmare the other night that the new tattoo shop was full of people. Her husband had to tell them to stay away from her. She was trying to cover her face with her hands and people were making fun of her.
Another Covid dream. She’s been having them since the pandemic started. She is terrified of getting the virus. She’s terrified of her husband getting it. Yes, they have made some progress in the vaccines and treatments, but unfortunately, due to the narcissistic person who was president at the time of the start of the pandemic, the CDC and conspiracy theorists have made this worse than it might have been had they had a normal president at the time.
Now that tattoo appointment that she had to do a bunch of research on before she made it is gone. The governor has put her state in another state of emergency due to Covid and the flu going nuts. Hospitals are overwhelmed and again people are on ventilators.
What the FUCK??? Rage filled her body. She HATES people. They are illiterate and have an IQ of -120!!!! Don’t mask. Don’t get vaccinated and boosted. Don’t continue to limit crowds. She is actually surprised that it took this long for the whole thing to blow up. She thinks it did in the summer but not to this point. And the media kept it under wraps due to the election.
She has been sacrificing her fucking life so everyone can live and get people sick. It’s the politicians’ and greed’s fault. Money above all else. Sickening! But The Trapped Butterfly is so sick of sacrificing her life!! She is so done with empathy for anyone but the children and the people who are truly trying their best to protect themselves and others from illnesses!
If people are going to restaurants and doing other shit without a mask and get sick with Covid, too bad! They are making it impossible for her to fucking live, so she is angry. They are absolutely destroying her wings!! And their own health as well as other people’s health.
Covid is the worst thing ever to happen! She can’t risk getting it or her husband getting it. It’s getting harder for him to care for her. When he had pneumonia last month and was out of breath from carrying her, it scared her! What if he was able to stay home with her but couldn’t get out of bed and care for her and the kitties? And then they looked up the oral treatment for Covid and they said that the pills cannot be crushed or broken so if she can’t take them, she is fucked!!!
Everything hurts so much. She misses her family—both biological and chosen. They shit all over her and she still misses them so much! It hurts so much! Gawd dammit!! It hurts! Her body aches and she sobs. She is so fucking tired of choosing the hard road to try to get to the better road. Is there even a better road??
As Bryan Adams sings, “It cuts like a knife, but it feels so right!”
The Trapped Butterfly 