Supernatural Beings and Peace

She was sobbing. Hot tears streamed down her face and she had an unexpected, intense urge to go outside. Usually she wouldn’t even ask to go outside on the whim like that, but she just needed to get out and pray/send positive vibes up to the universe without the confines of the house.

The second her husband pushed her outside, her whole body relaxed despite the intense, unexplainable feelings that were surging through her. She cried and took some deep breaths as she looked at the beautiful orange and yellow sky with the sunset. She whispered softly at the almost night sky hoping that They would hear her. Both the aliens and the Spirits.

The movie that they had just watched was called, “Arrival,” which included alien beings coming to Earth to help mankind achieve the alien’s goal of world peace. Oh how she wishes that the world leaders would get high on marijuana and watch the movie.

There was also the concept of some being able to see their own future and how choosing to still do something that would be heartbreaking but so meaningful got to her. She often wonders nowadays if she would have made the same choices that she has made up to now despite the joys and the devastating pain that she has endured. There was one thing that she used to regret about her ex-chosen family…She had said she wished she had never met them. But now, despite some lingering pain that remains, she realizes that it is a part of her journey and she wouldn’t be the person she is now.

So many thoughts going through her mind right now but it’s all cosmic. She had been wanting to see the moon for a while now and while they were outside, she happened to turn her head to the side and looked up and there was the moon.

May You come and somehow bring peace and love and healing to this world. Please…….

Fuck you, Roo!!

Reader discretion advised.

She looks at the half finished tattoo that she started with someone that she thought was her soul sister. She has had many so-called “BFFs” or “sisters,” but like her fucking family, they ended up being mentally ill and/or narcissistic. Or maybe she just can’t keep BFFs even though she is so desperate for one.

Roo honestly was the closest thing to a “soul sister” that she had ever had. And yet, here she is with the half finished tattoo desperate to get it finished over a year and a half later.

But thanks to fucking Covid and other viruses currently going around, she can’t just go get it done. It blares at her every fucking day. Of course, she gets her hopes up for another artist to get it done but so far, either they don’t have time for her on a day off or they aren’t comfortable with finishing another artist’s work. So the very thing that is supposed to be giving her pleasure and remembering her beloved iguana, is like an open wound that won’t heal. She is so fucking tired of it. If she was physically able, she may have gotten nice and drunk and high to scratch the fucking thing off. She would rather have the bloody mess and scars than this unfinished constant reminder that her supposed “soul sister” literally fucked her over due to her beliefs that freedom and her ways are so important than everyone else’s. Roo wants to live her way even if it is hurting people. The Trapped Butterfly just wants her freedom back and she wants other people to actually look out for others to let her and her fellow butterflies free.

Yet, she is behaving “narcissistically” according to Roo. The very thing that The Trapped Butterfly thought was a bonding feature of the friendship (both of them have narcissistic parents) turned out to be the very thing to ruin their relationship. Roo’s own horrible abuse had turned her into a horrible, malicious narcissistic bully. Sad, really. Bullying and abuse begets bullying and abuse.

The Trapped Butterfly constantly worries about her behavior being narcissistic but her therapist keeps reassuring her that she isn’t. How dare Roo use her and her husband! How dare Roo’s husband be so stupid not to see that The Trapped Butterfly was trying to figure it out and didn’t/couldn’t see that she was trying to be respectful yet honest.

Maybe that’s why people don’t like The Trapped Butterfly and they walk away from her so easily. Because once The Trapped Butterfly finally figures out their true deal, she calls them out. Not perfectly. She fucks up. She lashes out. But she also has a big heart and she loves fiercely.

Roo, you have hurt The Trapped Butterfly deeply. Some scars, when they finally turn into scars, will be with The Trapped Butterfly for the rest of her fucking life. But mark her words; YOU HAVE NOT AND WILL NOT DESTROY THE TRAPPED BUTTERFLY!! SHE KEEPS FIGHTING FOR HER FREEDOM AND HEALING!!!!