The Trapped Butterfly loves Christmas as does her husband. But life has done what life does to make Christmas bittersweet. And she has great Christmastime memories from childhood and not so great memories. They have lost loved ones, family, and friends which makes Christmas bittersweet.
However, that doesn’t stop them from decorating and enjoying the hell out of Christmas. She’s been desperately wanting another outside day with a fire that would go on until it got dark. It’s been about five years since they have had a fire outside when it was nighttime.
Today was a beautiful warm day for December. 56 degrees and not too windy. The Trapped Butterfly and her husband had agreed to an outside day with a fire. They were both in a good mood today so they played their silly games that only they understand. She had gotten some Mickey Mouse light up ears for fun and was looking forward to wearing them later when she was higher and in an even better mood. She told her husband that he was going to “get it.” Poor guy didn’t know what she was thinking.
It felt pretty warm out when he pushed her outside in her wheelchair. It was partly cloudy and she was disappointed that she probably wasn’t going to be able to see the stars and planets as she had been doing the previous times that they were out there until after dark. In fact, one night she had sat outside alone and was amazed by the colors of the sunset, the Christmas lights coming on, and then the planets and stars that eventually filled the night sky.
Today the fire was beautiful from the start. They used a cardboard box with sticks to get the fire going. There must have been plastic or something on the box that was making little fire sparks slide down to the ground. It was magical.
She meditated and watched the fire throughout the afternoon. Birds flew overhead and one was so loud when it squawked that it startled both her and her husband.
She drank cannabis infused juice and then she had a couple of shots of tequila! The higher she got, the more beautiful everything was getting. As the sun was setting, sparks of the fire went up to the sky. It got brighter and brighter. She kept saying, “It doesn’t get any better than this.”
Getting goofy, she had her husband get her light up Mickey Mouse Christmas ears. He had turned on their outside Christmas lights and they were shining bright. She looked at a medal part of her wheelchair and it was so psychedelic from the reflection of the Christmas lights. She loved it.
She wore her ears for a while and got pictures. Then it was time to enact her plan on her husband to get him back for the games they played earlier. He, surprisingly, put the lighted ears on and took pictures! 😂😂. She was laughing so hard at him not figuring it out right away. Finally he got it and they laughed and played around. She kept wearing her ears.
It was getting darker and darker. Other Christmas lights were coming on in the neighborhood. So beautiful and cosmic. The fire got brighter and brighter. She hadn’t seen anything more beautiful in so long!
As they sat, a fox came up from the neighbor’s yard and began to cross the road. The fox made eye contact with them and got scared even though she was trying not to do anything to scare it away. It took off into the field across the road. They were both excited that they got to see a fox so close.
Similarly, that spring a baby deer ran across their yard. She always prays for animals because she doesn’t want them to get hit by cars and people can be so cruel. She loves animals.
As the night fell, the fire was allowed to dissipate and she watched what her husband calls, “Coal City.” A bunch of beautiful orange coals were flickering. It was beautiful.
She kept looking at all the Christmas lights throughout the neighborhood. The lights were so beautiful and she kept feeling herself relax. She also found herself remembering all the normal times that she had been outside at night—from childhood to adulthood. Being outside at night was a normal, frequent occurrence year round. She missed it all and noted at how much she, and all people, take for granted. Covid has at least made her more aware of everything that isn’t guaranteed in life. It’s easily taken away from you in an instant. Covid is on the rise again and, thankfully, The Trapped Butterfly and her husband have managed not to get it. Both are still sacrificing to avoid being infected by this nasty virus that is definitely damaging people’s bodies in ways that they don’t even understand.
While her husband was starting to put stuff away and put out the fire, she was sitting outside by herself and she saw a bright light through the fur tree. She looked and thought it was a street light but there’s no light there. She realized that it was the new moon! Tears streamed down her face. Her husband came out and she said, “Is that really the moon?” Her husband had been seeing it behind the house in the past month but there it was…A bright sliver of the moon. She was crying and saying “Thank you” to the Spirit world and the Universe and the moon for allowing her to see it. Soon the clouds covered the moon back up. She was just blown away by it and everything she was able to experience.
May there peace on Earth and goodwill towards men.
The Trapped Butterfly 